valentines-cheapskate-headline2





The more expensive it gets to date someone because of the economy, the more tempting it is to just revel in single bliss. Nonetheless, not everyone is as lucky as us, and now dread the inevitable beating their wallet will take come February 14.

True: we live in modern times, and splitting the bill shouldn’t be a big deal anymore, but even egalitarian spending has its limits. But fret not, people in relationships! You don’t need to start celebrating Singles Day with us heathens (Palm Sunday, in case you were wondering), because there is hope for you!

Sometimes, when you’re just that big of a cheapskate, you need to take some extraordinary measures.







valentines-cheapskate-text-8
valentines-cheapskate-photo 8






The Tradition: You give your significant other a dozen roses, signifying… exactly what? The last significant dozen I can think of were the 12 apostles, and one of them sold out their buddy for 30 pieces of silver. As far as symbolism goes, saying 12 roses makes for something “complete and perfect” is just a silly way to keep flower shops in business.

Price Range: 1,000 and up.

The Cheapskate Approach: Give just one rose, symbolizing that he/she is “your only one.” If 12-rose advocates say they give a dozen to show they’re thinking of someone 12 months a year, well, you’re making it clear you’re thinking of them for an entire year—no, an entire lifetime! No confusing symbolism there, no siree. Not bad for a 91.7% discount from buying a dozen roses.










valentines-cheapskate-text-7
valentines-cheapskate-photo 7






The Tradition: A box of chocolates, often considered an aphrodisiac, meant to symbolize the sweetness of your affection for someone even sweeter in your life. Or something.

Price Range: 350 and up.

The Cheapskate Approach: Get some colored foil, unwrap some bite-sized chocolates like Cloud 9 (did you know they have salted caramel?), then proceed to rewrap these goodies. Put them in a little basket, and you’re all set. If you know what you’re doing, this should cost you less than 50 bucks.










valentines-cheapskate-text-6
valentines-cheapskate-photo 6






The Tradition: Take your loved one to a nice movie on February 14. These cinemas are going to be packed, but whatever, right? It’s love, and there’s nothing like spending time in a crowded dark room filled with strangers for a special time.

Price Range: 330 and up, unless you’re a horrible monster who goes to those 2-in-1 cinemas in Cubao.

The Cheapskate Approach: Pick a bus with a television and a DVD player during rush hour along EDSA. Pay 40 bucks for two tickets. Enjoy your movie!










valentines-cheapskate-text-5
valentines-cheapskate-photo 5






The Tradition: Have a wonderful dinner for two in a romantic spot like Bellini’s, Mesclun Bistro or Vikings. I have a weird idea what constitutes “romantic.” Deal with it.

The Price Range: 1,000 and up.

The Cheapskate Approach: Sinangag Express is your friend. Not only do you have a filling dinner for under 200, you get to brag to your friends that you had SEx the day after!










valentines-cheapskate-text-4
valentines-cheapskate-photo 4






The Tradition: On top of the dinner, you definitely need some fine wine. They say a good bottle of wine unbottles a lot of love and affection on the spot.

The Price Range: 800 and up.

The Cheapskate Approach: Offer to give a back rub with a bottle of rubbing alcohol instead. Far more relaxing and useful.










valentines-cheapskate-text-3
valentines-cheapskate-photo 3






The Tradition: Modernized beyond recognition, dancing has morphed from the classic ballroom to the club scene at night, where young couples get to dance the night away to EDM. Tugs tugs, indeed.

The Price Range: 2,000 and up for the good superclubs that never spell their names right, like Republiq and Hyve.

The Cheapskate Approach: Go to Timezone, and swipe your card a couple of times to really show everyone how it’s done on the dance floor—in Dance Central 3.










valentines-cheapskate-text-2
valentines-cheapskate-photo 2






The Tradition: Not that it’s any of our business, but surely, some of you have possibly booked a room for February 14 already, just to make it more special. It’s a bit silly to pay for three hours when your man probably only needs 30 seconds, though.

Price Range: 800 and up. I think.

The Cheapskate Approach: A purity ring is negligible in cost if you make it out of thread. Then, you can stay in your living room and stare at each other for hours on end. Clean, wholesome fun!










valentines-cheapskate-text-1
valentines-cheapskate-photo 1






Eschew all of these traditions by utilizing this age-old technique…

The Cheapskate Approach: Pick a fight on February 13. Forget all about having a date on February 14. Make up on February 15. Enjoy your savings!

 

 

How cheap can you go, this Valentine's? Share your tipid tips in the Comments Section.

P.S. Here are 8 tips for torpe guys.



Kel Fabie

Kel Fabie. is a DJ, host, mentalist, satirist, comedian, and a long-time contributor to 8List (Hello, ladies!). He has an Oscar, a Pulitzer, a Nobel, and two other weirdly-named pet dogs. He blogs on mistervader.com.

Related Posts