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What the Hades is “My Husband’s Lover?!?”

I asked myself that, as my editor-in-chief told me to write about it, telling me how hot and controversial a topic it would be to cover. Not wanting to let on that there was actually a topic I had next to no idea about, I quietly accepted the assignment and proceeded to devour everything I could about the television show over the next few days.

Prior to really watching the show, I was going to write about how insipid, hackneyed and clichéd the entire concept of the show is.

But upon watching the show, I was compelled to instead write about how insipid, hackneyed, clichéd, and life-changing the entire concept of the show is. No, seriously.





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While we might be poking fun at how horrible Lally’s (Carla Abellana) gaydar must be to have let Vincent (Tom Rodriguez) and Eric (Dennis Trillo) keep this going on right under her nose for so long, it also makes us realize that gone are the days where our concept of a gay man is exclusively about doing your best mid-'80s Roderick Paulate impression.


[text_image img="http://8list.com.ph/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/the-lessons-myhusbandslover2.png" width="100%" type="subheading"]THE LESSON:[/text_image]
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Being gay is not being effeminate. Being effeminate is not being gay. Homosexuality is far more than just the stereotypes we’ve constructed of it.


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One of the most striking lines of dialogue I got from the series probably came from Eric’s mom, Sol (Chandra Romero): “Let’s not fool ourselves here, Vincent--bakla ka, bakla ang anak ko. Ang pagkakaiba, hindi niloloko ng anak ko ang sarili niya! The moment you decided to have a wife, nagpatali ka sa kasinungalingan. Either panindigan mo ang asawa mo, o kumawala ka sa kanya para maging totoo ka kay Eric at sasarili mo. Iyan lang ang choices mo, Vincent, dahil bilang ina, hindi ako papayag na pumasok sa komplikadong relasyon ang anak ko!”


[text_image img="http://8list.com.ph/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/the-lessons-myhusbandslover2.png" width="100%" type="subheading"]THE LESSON:[/text_image]
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Regardless of gender roles, infidelity should be treated as inexcusable.


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As I watched, it made me think: if we were in a more accepting society, could this betrayal of trust have simply never happened? If society did not frown upon homosexuality, would it have made a difference? In this case, I realized it absolutely would. If gay people had the option to actually get with the people they love, rather than be pressured to subscribe to heteronormative roles, there will be a lot less… nasty surprises along the way.


[text_image img="http://8list.com.ph/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/the-lessons-myhusbandslover2.png" width="100%" type="subheading"]THE LESSON:[/text_image]
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Societal pressure for heteronormativity can actually cause more harm than good. You simply cannot pray the gay away.


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It feels like the timing of having this TV show come out couldn’t have been any better. With RH Law debates ongoing and our lawmakers lining up for the next big legislative battlefield in divorce, marriage equality is no longer a far-off discussion along the way. It’s amazing how a good chunk of the characters take homosexuality as simply a matter of fact, rather than overemphasizing it as making infidelity “worse” or trivializing it by making it merely a point of humor.


[text_image img="http://8list.com.ph/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/the-lessons-myhusbandslover2.png" width="100%" type="subheading"]THE LESSON:[/text_image]
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Philippine TV is not as “bereft of ideas” as we like to pretend it is, while hailing the same country that produced Jersey Shore and Honey Boo Boo as the be-all and end-all of quality television.


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It’s nice to know that even if the concept of infidelity is a very tired and rehashed theme, there are still facets of it left unexplored. Sans any value judgments, you have to hand it to the writers for that stroke of brilliance.


[text_image img="http://8list.com.ph/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/the-lessons-myhusbandslover2.png" width="100%" type="subheading"]THE LESSON:[/text_image]
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Gay people can make the mundane fabulous again.


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One of the key scenes hinged on the plot point that Vincent was keeping his phone well out of Lally’s reach. In fact, Sandra (Glydel Mercardo), Lally’s mom, was lecturing Lally that where there’s smoke, there’s fire, and Vincent is most likely keeping something from her.

In the thick of this treatise on the unwritten commandments about phone privacy and trust issues, Danny (Kevin Santos) offers to install Candy Crush on Sandra’s phone.



[text_image img="http://8list.com.ph/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/the-lessons-myhusbandslover2.png" width="100%" type="subheading"]THE LESSON:[/text_image]
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A fine balance between trust and privacy needs to be struck in any given relationship, but all of that takes a backseat if you haven’t yet installed Candy Crush on your phone. Go do it. Now.


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The Catholic Bishop’s Conference of the Philippines claims that due to the homosexual themes of the series, they are “scrutinizing”My Husband’s Lover.

The dictionary defines the word “scrutinize” as “to examine or inspect closely and thoroughly.” #AlamNa



[text_image img="http://8list.com.ph/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/the-lessons-myhusbandslover2.png" width="100%" type="subheading"]THE LESSON:[/text_image]
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It is best to choose your words carefully.


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Throughout my research for this list, there is only one lesson I could absolutely not deny, and I say this without the least bit of insecurity about my masculinity for it is very much the truth…



[text_image img="http://8list.com.ph/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/the-lessons-myhusbandslover2.png" width="100%" type="subheading"]THE LESSON:[/text_image]
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Dennis Trillo is truly a beautiful, beautiful man.


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What did you learn from My Husband's Lover? Let us know in the comments section.
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Image Credits:
MyHusbandsLover Facebook

Kel Fabie

Kel Fabie. is a DJ, host, mentalist, satirist, comedian, and a long-time contributor to 8List (Hello, ladies!). He has an Oscar, a Pulitzer, a Nobel, and two other weirdly-named pet dogs. He blogs on mistervader.com.

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