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ONE

The only compass that is truly ever needed is a heart true to itself. It is a compass without equal and yet every pioneer needs an aid to navigate the terrain, even as you are made sure of your correct direction, I have found that the use of Fantoma has aided me not only in surmounting what obstacles God has put before me but in putting them into context; making me aware of destiny’s tapestry and the acquisition of knowledge heretofore incomprehensible if not for the keen insight and elevated consciousness the drug has provided. And such nimbleness of thought, too!

 

TWO

Street names include: Ghostie, Multo, or simply The F. Origins of the drug in both its powder and liquid form are a mystery. Manufacture has been placed at conflicting locations: some point to Colombia, others in Afghanistan, still some say there are cooks in the heights of the Mountain Province and the Cordilleras. Its color has been compared to pale corn and molten gold although it must be noted that mystics have reported, in the second hour of use, that the liquid variant kept inside a clear tube begins to swirl with a kaleidoscopic explosion ranging from viridian to a deep amber. Commonly drunk or sniffed directly, when burned before inhalation the intensity of the drug is diminished but the effects are prolonged, sometimes for up to five hours.

The literature on its medical pharmacology is sparse but in theosophical terms the drug opens the third eye or brow chakra and enhances the visual aspects of spiritual sight so that the user may then see the aura of people and, after prolonged use, objects. The world looks like a Kirlian photograph. People appear like walking eggshells of radiant light. It is glorious and dreadful, at first. This kind of sight is useful in revealing not only the emotions and intentions of a person, since anything that appears in the physical plane first manifests aurically.

As a corollary it also reveals the sicknesses and diseases of a person. This last has been of great help to me. It has enabled me to narrow down my hunting and choose those who are healthy in both mind and body, those free of cancer or any in that rank army that has made Manila a darker city than it ever should have been.

 

THREE

Fantoma has revealed great efficacy in boosting psychic immune systems by strengthening the chakras with correct application. There is the case of the woman plagues by restless spirits. She was unaware of her affliction and had to be told by her boyfriend who narrated that whenever he was about to doze off she would begin speaking in tongues while still asleep, head lashing to the left and right, hands gripping the sheets. He would sometimes hear several voices all trying to raise their volume as if to gain the upper hand in an argument. This display would usually last two hours. It terrified him. The woman would remember nothing in the morning. She was an open conduit for ghosts seeking help and her energy centers were like an invitation for possession. A steady regimen of liquid Fantoma, drunk before sleep every night for a week and then every other night the week thereafter was sufficient to close her chakras and rid her of the spirits. Additionally, it also cured her of sleep apnea.

 

FOUR

Addicts and frequent, daily users who have been taking Fantoma for more than two years develop a blank look similar to the thousand yard stare of soldiers with PTSD.  Shocks of white hair begin to appear. Phantom sounds, most commonly footsteps and fists banging on doors, are heard absent anything that would cause these sounds. In extremis there is loss of appetite, paleness, and the inability to sit still. These symptoms appear only in use and abuse contrary to instructions by physicians and healers.

 

FIVE

The most extreme case I have come across is that of a woman who sat motionless for hours at a time and was convinced that the sound coming from her heart was the darkness of her own soul. I confess that this last one was quite an experience for me. Not unlike the ravings of martyrs and holy men, she continued to speak even if I had made her speechless. The vocal chords continued to make discernible speech though the removal of the tongue had been done an hour previous. Perhaps the darkness of her soul was formidable, indeed?

I must confess that I experienced my first “bad trip” after a year of using Fantoma on a weekly basis. I entered a building after surveilling the place for four days and taking notes on the habits and schedule of another case. She lived on the fifth floor of a condominium.

Upon exiting the elevator I found all the unit numbers of each door erased. I did not even know which floor I was on despite having exited, I believed, on the correct one. The corridors all looked the same. I started banging on doors but nobody answered. A sound not unlike a rooster crowing echoed down the hallway. I ran from it in terror. I climbed to the next floor and again started knocking loudly on each door, with the numbers absent, but no one answered. I climbed another floor and another. Soon, I came to fear a door actually being opened and who or what would answer it. When I calmed down enough I walked down the stairs until I came to the lobby and exited to the street. I sat down on the curb until the world came back. When next I came to a mirror I found a thick shock of white hair running through the left side of my head.

 

SIX

When enemies surround you it is best to trust in the miracle of a grand exit.

 

SEVEN

Sometimes there are fears that cannot be named, and for every nameless fear that is allowed voice a part of the child in your heart dies. Isn’t it all of ours?  When the last fragment dies my imagination shall fade like fish drowning in fresh air, choking on the lack of things to play with. Dreaming is both hope and oxygen for this child. It is with regret that I have had to procure the dreams of other so that my own may live. I can only give them the assurance that their sacrifice was never squandered; their material became fuel for great deeds amplified by the use of Fantoma, at once prayer and apotheosis for humble thought.

Never let anyone, even those who profess to love you or proclaim to have your best interests at heart, tell you that you are not good enough. Fantoma has many uses, but it has been revelatory that you do not need to live up to some spiritual or moral ideal that does not resonate with you. My mother insisted that I make myself beholden to a creed that tyrannizes the soul. My eyes have been opened, my soul has been spared this long littleness by refusing to abide. The biggest obstacle is the fear of obedience.  I no longer live under a despot.

 

EIGHT

The argument, in the final analysis, is this: You may try to draw out the poison of the world with a beautiful mouth but, in the end, the poison has already done its work. Fantoma is not remedy, merely a tool for those with the knowledge to use it and the courage to wield the sword that will prevent the venomous plague from infecting the rest of us. We take Fantoma for healing. We take Fantoma for psychic self-defense. Those of us who take it upon ourselves to be brave and accept the burden of knowing shall be made welcome in the house of the world.  You may see for yourself.


Karl R. De Mesa

Karl R. De Mesa is the author of the books of horror fiction "Damaged People" and "News of the Shaman." He's also a journalist and editor. His latest book is "Report from the Abyss," a collection of non-fiction. He plays guitar for the drone metal band Gonzo Army.

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