our girlfriend’s the best – but you can’t say the same about her friends. They are self-confessed gossips, self-professed critics, and brand ambassadors of negative vibes. What’s worse, they don’t just gossip about strangers or criticize celebs on TV. No, they have found the perfect specimen for their questionable hobbies: YOU.

Of course, it’s not like you can tell your girlfriend she’s friends with the devil’s minions, namely:

  1. The best friend – the one your girlfriend trusts the most (and the one person who trusts you the least)
  2. The work buddy – your girlfriend’s officemate who acts like the best friend when the official best friend is not around
  3. The barkada – a group of people who are willing to drink, eat, and be merry with your girlfriend
  4. The barkading – a confidante of sorts who happens to be gay
  5. The guy friend – a guy acting like a harmless fellow but is actually waiting for you to f*ck up so that he can take his turn with your girlfriend

Fortunately, you don’t have to keep guessing if they’re up to no good. You can tell that they genuinely like you if they do any or all of the following (the more, the merrier):


No, these are not terms of endearment.  If these words have become their pet nickname for you, yes, they hate you and your tacky clothes. They just don’t want to tell it to your face because they love your girlfriend as much as you do.

8v-Your girlfriend’s friends no longer call you loser mokong pangit or kumag.


If your girlfriend’s barkada still think of her ex as “the one who got away”, chances are, they’re thinking of you as “the one who got lucky”.



They would not have added you to their social networks if they are itching to delete you from your girlfriend’s life.

6v-They have added you on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.


They think you and your GF are inseparable – and deep inside, they believe it’s how things should be.

5v-When your girlfriend is going solo they wonder where you are


No, it’s not just some silly thing they do to unwind. It’s a form of initiation for new, handpicked “members” that they are welcoming into their elite club and if you get an invite, you say yes, even if it means cancelling on an important client.

4v-They ask you to join them on their girls’ night-out


When they send your girlfriend an SMS, they now say, “Regards 2 ur awesome BF!” instead of “Find sm1 else, jst sayin”.

3v-You get a special mention on their text messages to your girlfriend


Prepare to spend five times what you used to spend on your girlfriend. Newsflash: You are officially in a relationship with your girlfriend. And her bestie. And her work bud. And her fab gay BFF. You get the drift

2v-During Christmas when they send your girlfriend a gift they have a present for you too


Of all the many possible signs that your girlfriend’s posse has finally welcomed you into the pack, this is probably the most awesome. They are no longer just your girlfriend’s gofers – they are yours, too.

1v-When you and your girlfriend have a squabble they actually tell her you have a point

Stanley Chi

Stanley Chi writes a brand-spanking-new column called One Night Stan for FHM Philippines. He is the author of the bestselling Suplado Tips book series and the recently-launched Pogi Points book. He is also a cartoonist, stand-up comedian, and host. Tapping his business-centric Chinese roots, he designs the now-viral Suplado Shirts. Feel free to stalk and pester him at

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