From hoaxes to girl-on-girl kisses, here are the TL:DRs of this week’s hottest news.


ABS-CBN, through the news program “Balita,” reported on Tuesday that there’s been a flesh-eating disease outbreak in Pangasinan. The Department of Health immediately debunked this report and told the people not to panic. ABS-CBN has since taken the video down and written this.

The only flesh-eating bacteria we have noticed around us is probably the one afflicting this poor girl’s throat.

 


On Monday, China’s coast guard reportedly fired water cannons at Filipino fishermen near the vicinity of Scarborough Shoal. Foreign Ministry Spokeswoman Hua Chunying insisted on China’s “indisputable sovereignty” over the disputed waters.

 


Samsung launched their flagship phone, the Galaxy S5, at the Mobile World Conference in Barcelona last Monday. New features include a built-in heart sensor and, um, a fingerprint scanner.

 


The Philippines Daily Inquirer has since changed the title but Facebook does not forget.

 


(Philippine time) from “autoimmune inflammatory vasculitis, a rare disease that involves the swelling of blood vessels.”

If you have no idea who Harold Ramis is, you may be forgiven for that. But if you have no idea who Egon Spengler is, you must have had a pretty sad childhood.

 


Not only did the lead singer of the Red Hot Chili Peppers go surfing in Siargao, but word has it that they ended up having an impromptu gig in one of the bars later that evening.

 This is where your taxes go Consider yourself lucky, Philippines!

 


James Yap’s fortunes are really changing for the better.

 


Yes they did. It worked for Britney, Christina, and Madonna eleven years ago.

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