So. It has come to this, nation: the hallowed halls of the Philippine Senate, where some of the best and brightest minds who led the nation for decades, has turned into a karaoke hall, thanks to Senator Bong Revilla’s speech with matching music video, which proves the old saying, “when you hit rock bottom, just keep on digging.”
When it comes to Philippine politics, the privilege speech is a weapon most legislators have no qualms about using. When you can have practically all the time you want to say whatever you want with no fear of legal backlash, because you are granted parliamentary immunity no matter how outlandish what you have to say happens to be.
You’re bound to encounter a bunch of boring privilege speeches, no doubt. I personally witnessed Ted Failon, then a congressman who was nearing the end of his term, giving a speech about the honor bestowed upon him in serving in congress. Because there was little to no media coverage going on in session hall at that moment, the lawmakers were visibly doing anything but pay attention to Ted Failon. Not a soul gave a damn that day.
And then, you have the other kind of privilege speeches.
Unsurprisingly, this other kind has turned the privilege speech the public is very familiar with into a mockery and obliterates our hope in humanity each and every time some random politician gives it a go. When you watch one of these, they almost never actually are privilege speeches: they tend to morph into something else. Here are 8 of the most absurd things privilege speeches usually devolve into…
8. Oppression Olympics
a net worth of 123.74 million, can go on record to lament “woe is me.” Please explain to me how he could decry that his reputation is “irreparably damaged” despite the fact that with every election, he tends to be among the top vote-getters. Lastly, please explain to me how being oppressed, true or otherwise, automatically means you are innocent of any wrongdoing.
7. A Drama Anthology
Senator Sotto actually cried. He may have been crying over the fact that he actually bought these “deadly” pills from a time traveling servant of Satan, because Dianne wasn’t introduced by pharmaceutical company Bayer until 1978. Senator Bong Revilla’s dad, Ramon Revilla, Sr., did more of the same while watching his son’s privilege speech in the Senate last January, too.
You would think that an actor best known for comedies and another for action films respectively would not try to stretch their range into drama once they’re in the Senate, but you would apparently be wrong.
6. Show and Tell
4. A master’s class in (committing) logical fallacies
“plagiarism.”Even one of our favorite Senators isn’t exempt from this, when you realize that she probably didn’t write those pickup lines by herself.
2. A prayer meeting
1. A waste of our time and money
Also, the daily budget for each session day in the Senate alone is around 30 million a day. That’s our money being used to fund that. The better part of yesterday’s 30 million pesos of our money went into the production of a godawful music video that was matched only by the godawful singing. Can we get a refund?
Have you ever noticed that with the exception of former Senator Migs Zubiri, these privilege speeches never end with a resignation? Just saying.