ecently, Manny Pacquiao won his highly-anticipated fight against Brandon Rios. He dedicated his fight and subsequent victory to the survivors of Yolanda, then rushed back to the Philippines to distribute relief goods. He then immediately got into another highly-contested bout, this time with the BIR.

While this fight still won’t put Manny in the lead for the race to Ring Magazine’s annual Fighter of the Year awards (Korina Sanchez has it in the bag this year.), a lot of people were amused by Pacquiao’s choice for entrance music in his fight last weekend: Katy Perry’s “Roar.” In a macho industry where people prefer entering to songs by 50 Cent or Metallica (or “Eye of the Tiger,” of course), this strange choice was refreshing. It also worked for the Undertaker during Wrestlemania 27, by the by.

Here are 8 songs I think I humbly suggest he pick from as his entrance music for his next fight. I even threw in a numerical value to the ability of each song to help Manny win, which is a number I totally derived empirically and scientifically.

Applause-Lady-Gaga-8

Wait, Why? Lady Gaga’s first single from her new album was assumed to be stiff competition for Katy’s “Roar” in the Billboard charts-until they actually bothered counting. Nonetheless, the message definitely fits Pacquiao: he lives for the applause, and so long as he keeps fighting, it seems like the Filipino people will keep giving it to him, win or lose. He could even sing his own version and say he lives for the “haplos” instead. That’s cool, too.

Training Montage Value: 2/10. It’s an awesome song, but given how Lady Gaga lost the billboard race against Katy with this song, it’s hard to think the song would guarantee victory if it were used for Manny’s training montage.

 

U-Cant-Touch-This-MC-Hammer-

Wait, Why? MC Hammer’s hit song that put him on the map is an ode to Pacquiao’s speed and resilience. You really can’t touch this man, and he is 2 Legit, 2 Legit 2 Quit.

Training Montage Value: 6/10. Not a bad song, since Hammer does rap about letting them know “that you’re too much,” but do remember that this was not the most popular rap song of 1990. Inasmuch as you want to stop, Hammer time, everyone else would stop, collaborate, and listen.

 

Loser-Beck-6

Wait, Why? The negative-sounding song that’s actually mostly just gibberish made up on the spot might strike us as a song bound to jinx the people’s champion, but any fighter who would dare underestimate Pacquiao just because he came out to Beck’s biggest hit would end up with his back on the canvas faster than you can say “reverse psychology.”

Training Montage Value: 5/10. Imagine Pacquiao training so hard and all his obstacles with this music playing in the background. By the time the song ends, you see him in fighting form, pretty much saying that this “loser” is going to kick punch your ass face.

 

From-A-Distance-Bette-Midler-5

Wait, Why? If a dude approached me in a boxing match to the tune of a song with lyrics that go, “God is watching us, God is watching us, God is watching us from a distance,” I am not gonna mess with that guy.

Training Montage Value: 1/10. Go ahead. Imagine a training montage to this song. I dare you.

 

Money-Money-Money-ABBA-4

Wait, Why? It’s a song that works on so many levels. Three, to be exact.

1. The first is a pun on “Manny,” since we keep doing that with him a lot, anyways.

2. The second is Manny calling out Floyd “Money” Mayweather, because their date with destiny would probably give them all the money.

3. The third would be these lyrics: I work all night, I work all day, to pay the bills I have to pay/Ain’t it sad/ And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me/ That’s too bad. Perfect lyrics to sing in the BIR’s face! I wanted to go with “Sunny Afternoon” by The Kinks, but that was a little too on the nose.

Training Montage Value: 6/10. Rapid cuts of Manny training, his dealings with the BIR, and Floyd’s mug shots? Practically a guarantee for boxing victory for the Pacman! If you can insert a cameo by Ted DiBiase somewhere, there is no way Manny would lose!

 

I-Will-Survive-Cake-3

Wait, Why? While I personally think Gloria Gaynor’s original version of this song works just fine, there’s just something about the Cake remake that works. Pacquiao entering to this song for Pacquiao-Marquez V would probably be very symbolic. Not that Pacquiao-Marquez V is ever likely to happen, though.

Training Montage Value: 7/10. The heavy guitar riffs definitely get the blood pumping, and even the horns add to the appeal of the song, but hey, it’s still a song about surviving, not winning. Speaking of which…

 

Winning-Charlie-Sheen-2

Wait, Why? Like Charlie Sheen, Manny Pacquiao knows how to party, and he has tiger’s blood. He has one gear: go. Look, I can either quote the entire song’s lyrics, or you can just go and watch it yourself and see why it’s a perfect fit for the People’s Champ.

Training Montage Value: 9/10. It’s epic, and it’s winning! Too bad it’s also a whole lot of autotune.

 

Basagan-Ng-Mukha-Radioactive-Sago-Project-1

Wait, Why? With a title like that, do I even need to explain why?

Training Montage Value: 10/10. While not actually as hard-hitting a song as some of Radioactive Sago Project’s other hits, this song’s message still definitely fits the theme. And hey, I would not be averse at all to seeing Lourd walk down the ramp as part of Manny’s entourage.

 

Honorable-Mention-Guiles-Theme-Street-Fighter-II

What, Why? Due to insistent public demand by more than a few Liter8s, we are including the only song with no lyrics at all on this list. Because Guile’s theme goes with everything.

Training Montage Value: 11/10. Clearly, anyone fighting to the tune of Guile’s theme will always win.

 

Thoughts? Suggestions? Violent reactions? Give us a holler in the Comments Section.

Kel Fabie

Kel Fabie. is a DJ, host, mentalist, satirist, comedian, and a long-time contributor to 8List (Hello, ladies!). He has an Oscar, a Pulitzer, a Nobel, and two other weirdly-named pet dogs. He blogs on mistervader.com.

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