Christmas party season is coming upon us again, and as someone who has done more than his fair share of hosting them, I can’t help but take notice how so many different offices share so many similar things in common with each other when they throw their parties.

While it’s true that a lot of offices have decided to forego their Christmas parties in favor of giving the money to Tacloban relief efforts instead, not all of them will be doing that. In truth, there’s just something about the Pinoy Christmas party that makes it so hilariously predictable. They may or may not share this with Christmas parties in other countries, but it’s almost guaranteed that you’ll see:

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8. The Maintenance Department is king.

They always either win the presentation showdown, or are the defending champions from last year. Don’t ask me why, they just are.

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7. The HR Department tries sooo hard.

They will always pull out the stops during the presentation showdown, win or lose, because they can’t help but want to set an example. It is their curse.

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6. The Accounting Department doesn’t care.

Not one bit, because nobody would dare criticize the people who can “misplace” your paycheck if you annoy them.

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5. There will always be a mix featuring three of the most popular songs in the past year.

And it won’t happen in just one, but at least two separate performances. (Expect a Gentleman, Blurred Lines, Wrecking Ball mix from two different departments.)

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4. Everybody picks up the Christmas Cough.

When the CEO is giving his/her address, you could hear a lot of people coughing *cough*bonus*cough* ad nauseam. I don’t know about you, but isn’t that annoying practice a good way to ensure your boss won’t give you any extra bonuses?

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3. Someone will always receive an insulting gift during Monito Monita

A toothbrush? Deodorant? Sanitary napkins? The Pinoy Secret Santa has never been more passive-aggressive. Somebody getting a backhanded gift every single time is about as reliable as having spaghetti served at the party. With hotdog bits.

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2. The unexpected concert.

In the event of a videoke, there will always be one person who will be at total performance level. This person is also the most quiet person in the office, and you cannot approach them about their singing performance the next day at work.

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1. The once-in-a-year chance of a lifetime.

Many office relationships will be made or broken in the middle of the Christmas party. Keep your eyes peeled!

Do these sound familiar? Share your thoughts in the Comments Section.

Kel Fabie

Kel Fabie. is a DJ, host, mentalist, satirist, comedian, and a long-time contributor to 8List (Hello, ladies!). He has an Oscar, a Pulitzer, a Nobel, and two other weirdly-named pet dogs. He blogs on mistervader.com.

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