The “kabit” (or mistress in English) is quite a popular phenomenon here in the Philippines, with at least several local movies devoted to this societal reality.

I am fortunate to have loved and have been loved by so many men, both single and, where this list is concerned, married. Which makes me a melodramatic, if not tragic, cautionary tale. Mistresses, take heed.


8 I Still Have a Conscience

Let’s get this out of the way. Even if you felt deeply about your married lover, there will always be a nagging voice in the back of your head saying you are breaking up someone’s marriage, someone’s family, possibly ruining a kid’s future — even if he or she claims they aren’t happy anymore.

7 Paranoia

You know you’re dealing with a cheater. So he’s probably cheating on you, too, and God knows with how many others. It’s just so hard to trust him.

6 It’s Hard Work

You work harder than the spouse to keep the relationship going, fulfilling fantasies and whims the spouse cannot.

5 “No Marks!”

No biting, no hickeys, no nails. Can’t get too passionate or lost in the heat of the moment or else he’ll be found out the moment he takes his shirt off at home.

4 There’s Never Enough Time

You can’t even be seen watching a movie or having dinner together. 3 hours in a motel room twice or thrice a week isn’t enough.

3 He Has Regrets

That’s probably why he’s rushing to take a shower as soon as he’s done with you (or after that cigarette). And he can’t use the soap or else his wife will wonder why he smells so fresh when he comes home at 3 in the morning — when he said he was just drinking with the boys.

2 The Waiting

Sometimes, you just cannot help but feel you aren’t the priority. His family, his work, his friends, they all usually come first. And then number 7 starts to gnaw at you.

1 Valentine’s is the Loneliest Day

Just imagine all the fun he’s having with his wife tonight while you’re alone in your room watching Scandal or Pretty Little Liars waiting to see him tomorrow. Unless he gave you shopping money which you might find insulting if you really ‘loved’ each other.

What do you think of being a kabit or kabits in general? Do let us know in the comments.

Krys Chan

Related Posts