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[dropcap letter="I"]ndeed, where in the world is Janet Lim-Napoles? The National Bureau of Investigation has officially sanctioned citizen’s arrest this week. The manhunt has begun. The businesswoman is officially on the lam.

Talk about a political thriller: word on the street is that most of her family members in the past month have secretly escaped to the USA one by one.

Now that the entire Filipino nation has been practically urged to stop her from leaving the archipelago, it makes us all wonder where the Philippine’s most wanted could be hiding.

Before you check under your bed or search every nook and cranny in our 7,107 islands, read this 8List that posits where indeed Janet Lim-Napoles and her brother Jojo Lim can be hiding.

[text_image img="https://8list.com.ph/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Possible-Whereabouts-of-Janet-Lim-Napoles-8t.jpg" type="subheading"]8. An undisclosed property.[/text_image]

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This one’s too easy.

It was reported that she had 28 houses and condominium units to her name, scattered all over the Luzon area, some of which double-purposed as makeshift prison cells for whistle-blowing employees.

Could it be that there are other properties undeclared by her holdings company?

A townhouse in remote Fairview, perhaps? An underground mansion in Palawan? A villa in Tawi-Tawi? Imagine sister and brother in a posh enclave, subsisting on balikbayan boxes of cold hard cash. A trusted mayordoma buys them groceries and clothes, if need be, from the outside world.

Trapped in a golden cage? Could be.

[text_image img="https://8list.com.ph/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Possible-Whereabouts-of-Janet-Lim-Napoles-7t.jpg" type="subheading"]7. The Basement of a Family or a Frien[/text_image]

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Money laundering! Ghost corporations! Instagram selfies!

These might as well be the plot keywords of a Nicolas Cage movie.

But yes, in the Philippines where self-preservation looms above all ideas, and where family is more important than countrymen, of course, they could be hiding in the basement of a long-lost cousin or an ex-boyfriend or anyone who they can gift with a loot bag full of Ninoy Aquino faces.

Ever seen the movie Argo? Ever heard of the Fil-Am fugitive Jason Ivler? Marry the two concepts and do the math: basements!

But yeah, the lack of sunlight would probably turn them pasty as zombies in, give or take, two weeks.

[text_image img="https://8list.com.ph/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Possible-Whereabouts-of-Janet-Lim-Napoles-6t.jpg" type="subheading"]6. A Forest.[/text_image]

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Now this is the stuff that real fugitive movies are made of. To disappear off the grid, one must grow a beard, hunt for alamid, and live amongst the trees of a protected nature reserve.

Now that’s an interesting twist: from MTV Cribs to Survivor: Alibijaban.

Given that their ilk are used to wearing Christian Louboutins, let’s see them go barefoot in python-infested grounds. Hilarity ensues.

[text_image img="https://8list.com.ph/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Possible-Whereabouts-of-Janet-Lim-Napoles-5t.jpg" type="subheading"]5. A Boat.[/text_image]

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How indeed do fugitives escape a country if airports and terminals all have their wanted posters plastered on their walls?

Easy! You go through lesser-policed places. The ports, for instance.

With billions of cash at hand, it’s easy to goad a cargo ship captain and escape to a magical country that offers political asylum.

[text_image img="https://8list.com.ph/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Possible-Whereabouts-of-Janet-Lim-Napoles-4t.jpg" type="subheading"]4. The Slums.[/text_image]

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“I spy Janet between an Orocan drum and the shirtless guitar player playing tong-its…”

The best place to hide is where nobody in his right mind would look.

The slums, where a poor and hungry underground economy can easily be bribed with sacks and sacks of hush money, can prove practical.

[text_image img="https://8list.com.ph/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Possible-Whereabouts-of-Janet-Lim-Napoles-3t.jpg" type="subheading"]3. A Church..[/text_image]

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Back in olden times, the police cannot arrest someone who claims sanctuary in a place of religious institution. Ever seen The Hunchback of Notre Dame?

Sorry, guys, this law no longer applies in the modern age.

Still, a church is a safe bet, an ideal place for contemplation, or if not, to ask for forgiveness.

Camping out on a church pew may result in back pains in the mornings, though.

[text_image img="https://8list.com.ph/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Possible-Whereabouts-of-Janet-Lim-Napoles-2t.jpg" type="subheading"]2. Incognito. (Under disguise. Or under a new identity.)[/text_image]

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Like Heisenberg of Breaking Bad fame, she could be hiding in plain sight. With a little reconstructive surgery and some ID forgery magic done in the bowels of Quiapo, she could come up with a new identity no one is privy to.

Again, this sounds like an awful twist ending to an HBO movie you catch while having your car fixed in the talyer.

[text_image img="https://8list.com.ph/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Possible-Whereabouts-of-Janet-Lim-Napoles-1t.jpg" type="subheading"]1.     Six feet underground.[/text_image]

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The plot could come to either a spine-chilling conclusion or end up as another unsolved mystery perfect for a Calvento Files reboot.

What if somebody from a higher place decided to off her so she would keep mum forever?

What if she fakes her own death? What if she decides to resign rather than being fired?

The suspense is killing us.

Where in the world is Janet Lim-Napoles? You tell.

Wincy Aquino Ong

Wincy Aquino Ong is a writer, musician, filmmaker, actor, and comic book illustrator. His works have been published in The Philippine Star and Esquire. His horror fiction was part of Neil Gaiman's Expeditions anthology. He is best known for the indie film San Lazaro, which was released in 2011.

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